EP 8: Building Bridges: Joy Sybesma's Guide to Effective Networking

Adriaan: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Leaders in Talent podcast. Today, I’m here with Joy Sybesma. Joy, welcome!

Joy: Thank you for having me, Adriaan. I’m excited for this conversation.

Adriaan: Absolutely. Let me give a little background on Joy. She’s the founder and CEO of SkillJoy, where she provides leadership development for CEOs and teams. She’s served as Chief People Officer for global tech companies, co-founded P5 Collaborative Consulting, and is passionate about helping teams achieve sustainable high performance. She’s also a University of Minnesota alum and a certified leadership coach from Harvard. Recently, she launched her invite-only Chief People Officers Dinner Club, Wendy Road, in New York City. Joy, welcome.

Joy: Thank you, Adriaan.

Adriaan: Joy and I already had the pleasure of working together because, Joy, you hosted an incredible leadership workshop in my living room, which was highly rated. One thing I’ve noticed as I build my network in New York is that every other person seems to know you, Joy.

I invite people over, and they say, “Oh, yeah, we met at a Troop HR event,” or, “I did a workshop with Joy.” I think this really speaks to the conversation we’re going to have today, where we’ll be talking about networking and the power of connection.

So, Joy, let’s dive right in. How has networking contributed to your success, both personally and professionally?

Joy: I think networking is probably the number one reason I feel successful. And it’s taken on different forms over the years.

First of all, if people in New York think they all know me, it’s because I spent most of my career there. I was lucky enough to get early opportunities in HR, sometimes before I was fully qualified, and I made it a point to seek out people more experienced and knowledgeable than me to guide me along the way.

I think it was a competitive advantage early in my career to recognize what I didn’t know and to actively seek people who did. When I moved to New York City in 2008, I committed to building a network, not only for my benefit but also to be a resource and add value to others.

I’d say that networking has been the most critical element in building my career in New York, helping me feel successful in my roles, and, now that I run my own business, it’s still the most important thing to sustain that success.

Adriaan: Joy, was it more of a “learn by doing” situation, or did you have a mentor early on who taught you to build a network?

Joy: I’d say it was both. I’m naturally drawn to human connection; it’s something that comes naturally to me. But I’ve learned ways to teach others some strategies for effective networking. Early on, I was fortunate to work with leaders who opened doors for me. I paid attention to who they were, what they valued in me, and I made a point of replicating that formula in other situations.

One specific story stands out. A former boss invited me to a book launch at her home. I almost declined, thinking it might not be worthwhile, but I ended up going. There, I met Fran Hauser, the author of The Myth of the Nice Girl. I was really struck by her story and how she approached her career. Since then, Fran and I have built a strong connection, though we’ve never worked at the same company or been business partners.

Fran is a “super connector” and an example of someone willing to open doors for others. I learned from her how to find super connectors and build a network with them. Every six months or so, I’ll send Fran a note, not asking for anything but offering something of value. It keeps me top of mind for her so she can continue connecting me with people. Just last week, I attended an event she hosted in New York and extended my trip just to be there in person. Identifying and investing in those relationships with super connectors is key.

Adriaan: That’s incredible. So we talked about professional networking—what about personal connections?

Joy: I don’t know if you feel this way, Adriaan, but many of my clients have become close friends. As I get older, I find myself drawn to people who are doing interesting and compelling things in their work, and that tends to bring us closer.

I actually hosted my 40th birthday this year, and my initial guest list was mostly clients. My husband even asked, “Are you going to invite any of your friends?” and I replied, “They’re one and the same!” By nature of focusing on relationships and adding value, you naturally make friends along the way. I think that’s a healthier mindset for networking—seeing it as building relationships rather than a transactional approach.

One example of this: I was brought on as a fractional head of HR for a growing organization. They had a chief of staff who was elevated into the head of people role, so I was brought in to be her external mentor. We ended up working so well together and transformed the HR function there. When I moved on, I introduced her to her next two job opportunities. We later worked together again and co-founded a project, and now she’s one of my best friends and co-founder on Wendy Road. That professional relationship evolved into a meaningful, long-term friendship and partnership.

Adriaan: That’s a great example. Let’s talk a bit about strategies. What strategies have you found most effective for making meaningful connections, especially during a job search?

Joy: Absolutely. For job searches, it’s all about the “who.” First, don’t be afraid to leverage your network in smart ways. I’ve been coaching people recently who are looking for their next role, and I’m often surprised by how many avoid asking for direct connections or referrals.

One basic strategy: ask people in your network for introductions to those they know. For example, say, “Hey Adriaan, I see you’re connected to a few people at Company X on LinkedIn. Could you introduce me if they’re a strong connection?” Make it easy for them—attach the job description and even provide an intro paragraph they can use. The easier you make it, the more likely they’ll be to help.

If your network is still small, find two or three people with larger networks who are familiar with your work, and ask if they’d be open to helping you reach new contacts. Another approach I like is “LinkedIning” myself, where I search for people in roles similar to mine or in roles I aspire to. Sometimes I’ll reach out with a respectful message like, “I admire what you’ve accomplished. Any advice for someone like me?” Authentic flattery, paired with a small, achievable ask, goes a long way.

And don’t underestimate the power of professional networks. Joining industry-specific communities, like Slack groups or LinkedIn groups, can exponentially grow your connections. Being helpful and engaged in those groups makes you memorable, and when the time comes, you’ll have a network that’s ready to support you.

Adriaan: Those are such valuable insights. One challenge I’ve encountered with networking groups is the cost. How do you view the cost versus the benefits of joining professional networks?

Joy: Great question. Most companies have a professional development budget, so my advice is to think strategically about using some or all of that stipend for community membership. Instead of only spending it on a class or a conference, consider the ROI of joining a professional network where you can gain insights, connections, and ongoing value.

And remember, there are many free or low-cost options out there, especially on platforms like Slack. Ask your network which communities they find valuable and see if the cost aligns with the benefits they’ve gained. Early in my career, I also attended free vendor-hosted breakfasts, where I’d connect with a couple of people and follow up for coffee. Those relationships didn’t cost anything but turned into long-term connections. If you can’t find a community that fits, don’t be afraid to create one yourself.

Adriaan: Let’s dive into that—how do you build your own network if you’re starting from scratch? What tips would you share?

Joy: Start with your low-hanging fruit, meaning the people already in your network. Even if you’re just starting out, you already have connections—colleagues, family friends, even college contacts. Identify those who respond well to you and value what you bring.

Your network is an extension of your brand and reputation, so it’s important to start by being good at what you do and showing integrity. I remember early in my career, there was a sales head who respected me and valued my input. That respect made me realize my potential, and we maintained that connection. Even now, years later, he’s someone I prioritize seeing when I’m in New York.

I actually keep a massive spreadsheet of my contacts, and I have a “Top 25” list of people I want to stay closely connected with. These are people who are incredibly smart, have integrity, and who I genuinely want to support long-term. I prioritize seeing them whenever I travel to their city or attend a conference. I also learned from Fran, my mentor, to identify “super connectors”—those people who link you to so many other valuable contacts. By maintaining relationships with them, you stay connected to a vast network.

Adriaan: Great advice. One strategy I’ve used since moving to New York is to partner with a super connector. I offer to host an event or a dinner at my place, while they invite their network. It’s been a great way to expand my connections here.

Joy: That’s such a generous approach, Adriaan! Creating that space for people to connect is powerful. After your event, I met new people and ended up at a dinner with a smaller group, and I can already tell some of those connections will be lifelong. Creating an atmosphere where people can connect meaningfully is invaluable.

Adriaan: Speaking of long-term versus transactional connections, how do you decide which relationships to invest in long-term?

Joy: I think networking starts with an objective. Are you looking for clients, aiming to establish a network in a specific city, or preparing for a job transition? Knowing your goals helps you focus on who to invest time in.

Once you have an objective, assess your existing network and see who could help you achieve it. Then be a little ruthless about focusing your energy where it makes sense. Over time, your network may shift as you evolve, so it’s important to stay intentional about who you prioritize and invest in.

Networking also has seasons. Sometimes, it’s about finding mentors or collaborators, and other times it’s about teaching and sharing your expertise. For example, my Wendy Road group is a space for experienced professionals seeking something more elevated and intimate.

Adriaan: And how do you turn networking relationships into clients? When do you feel it’s appropriate to introduce your services?

Joy: I approach it right away, but with a focus on being helpful and relevant to their needs. If you feel a genuine connection and understand the person’s challenges, it’s never too soon to mention how you could help.

For instance, today I had coffee with a new contact in Charleston, where I’m building a network. We had a great conversation, and by the end, we had plans to partner on something. If you’re tuned into the conversation, you’ll sense whether it feels natural or too forward. Sometimes, offering a bit of free advice can lead to a deeper collaboration.

Adriaan: That’s fantastic advice. I’ve also learned from Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi about the power of generosity in networking—giving without expecting anything in return.

Joy: Absolutely. That book is a classic, and it really highlights how giving can create long-term value. When you give authentically, it builds trust, and often people will want to reciprocate down the line.

Adriaan: With such a big network, how do you keep in touch with everyone?

Joy: I have my top 25, but I also set time each week to reflect. I think about who helped me recently and who might be helpful in the weeks ahead. Giving yourself mental space to ask, “Who can I help?” or “Who can help me?” keeps you engaged with your network.

Recently, I’ve also been more active on LinkedIn, which has brought people back into my orbit. Posting valuable content there helps me stay connected with my network, and it’s a low-effort way to keep relationships alive.

Adriaan: Do you think social media presence is essential for effective networking?

Joy: It depends on the role. When I was in-house, I didn’t need it as much because I was networking within my company and industry. But if you’re not the type to attend events, then yes, having a digital presence can be valuable. And LinkedIn doesn’t have to be all about self-promotion. You can engage by liking or commenting on posts, sharing valuable articles, or joining webinars.

Adriaan: So to wrap things up, what tactical advice can you leave our listeners with?

Joy: I’d suggest taking a moment to think about your goals as you finish 2024 and head into 2025. Identify if you have the network to support those goals, and if not, think about who you might connect with or how you might provide value to others. Having a clear sense of your objectives and who can help you reach them is key.

Adriaan: Fantastic advice. And Joy, what’s the best way for our listeners to connect with you?

Joy: LinkedIn is great—you can find me as Joy Sybesma, that’s S-Y-B-E-S-M-A. You can also visit my website at scalejoy.net or email me at joy@scalejoy.net. I’m always happy to help where I can.

Adriaan: Joy, thank you so much for sharing your insights and for being such an authentic connector. This was truly a testament to how naturally you approach networking, and I feel grateful that we connected. We’ll put all your contact details in the show notes, and I look forward to seeing what 2025 holds for you.

Joy: Thank you, Adriaan. It’s been a pleasure, and I’m so glad you’re part of my network now too!

Adriaan: Thanks, Joy.